Dominant+Training+Resources

On this page we'll try to include some resources for ongoing Dominant training. Mostly this will be reading material, we'll mix in some stories and scenarios to help with your interactions and roleplay. Dominant training, beyond the initial manual we provide to the trainees, is a House responsibility. I hope that the houses will find some of this material useful. If you discover something notable, please bring it to your House Mistress' attention.

Qualities of a Successful Dominant
The first page, I've referenced is titled the Qualities of a Successful Dominant. It starts off discussing the challenges of moving a part-time D/s relationship to a full time live in situation, this has little application to us at Toys, however, the article goes on to discuss a number of other things including dealing with resistance. Unfortunately, it does not give many strategies, but, it does suggest to search within yourself and show control in these situations. I think the article is worth reading, however, I have reproduced a couple of the important paragraphs here... Qualities of a Successful Dominant

//__Self-Control __// //If you can't control yourself--your vices, your emotions, your tendency to act out--you cannot control another person. You are too weak and self-indulgent to control another. As mentioned above, all submissives, even the best, resist control at times. Dealing with that resistance in a way that encourages good behaviour in the submissive and helps to train her to be a better submissive and a happier person means realizing from the start that your submissive's actions, however you may dislike them, are not about you. They are, rather, about her problems with submitting. Learning not to respond narcissistically--i.e., with anger, personal affront, hurt, or defensiveness--when she behaves in a resisting or manipulative way, is part of self-control. Instead of overreacting, a self-controlled dominant will rationally and over time devise workable strategies based on his intimate knowledge of his submissive that discourage the behavior and attitudes he dislikes. //

//__Stubbornness and Emotional Resilience __// //People who only imagine that they are dominants and who are suddenly thrust into the position of having to control a real human being face-to-face, often ask a very revealing question: when faced with the initial difficulties of training a submissive and overcoming the onslaught of her confusion or resistance, a situation which requires so much self-control and maturity on their part, they often wonder what it is that the dominant gets out of the relationship besides hard work and grief. An actual dominant never wonders this in any serious sense. He knows what he wants to get out of a power-exchange relationship, and he makes sure, despite the difficulties, that he gets it. A dominant must actually be dominant--must actually have a strong enough will to get his needs met, to insist that he get what he wants out of the relationship. In addition, to someone who is genuinely dominant, overcoming the submissive's resistance __in a way that **enhances** the relationship for both of them__ is something that, despite his dislike of the actual resistance, he relishes, as in the long run it enhances his control. //

I encourage you to read the rest of the article. It discusses qualities such as, responsibility, maturity, trustworthiness, experience, knowledge and desire.

Role Play Scenarios
The second article, I'll draw your attention to contains some ideas and suggestions for role play scenarios. Role Play Scenarios You MUST read these. Remember that most scenes are just a story you create together with your submissive/slave; they have a beginning a middle and an end. Most good experiences are the result of good communication, so if you think that the scene will go more smoothly, why not describe the scene to the submissive and have them engaged in achieving the end point. The descriptions in this article are short leaving most of the "how" to your imagination. I don't think any of our people will have any trouble filling in the play, set your own time limit, something not too tiring, and shape the play to it.